Letting Go...

Removing the cape was easy, but letting go...well that is a whole other story.

I recently read a post from one of my new favorite bloggers, Lori Lynn Smith. Her website, Live Your Passions, has a wealth of wonderful musings. Lori Lynn's post, Find Your Inner Peace in Chaos of this World, talks about finding your inner peace in the midst of the chaos of the day. It got me thinking about my own personal chaos, and what I did to navigate my way down the road to my own inner peace.

For years I have struggled with "letting go". It didn't matter what it was, it just seemed like I always agonized over everything. Do they like me? Did I do a good job? What if they hate me? Will I be included in (fill in the blank here)? Sometimes it involved other things, for example where did I put (fill in the blank here)? I would search endlessly for whatever it was I was looking for. I was really lost without knowing it. Looking back, I think the thing I was really searching for was me.

I had my own personal hand in creating the chaos surrounding me. I freely admit it. I thought I was managing just fine, but in actuality, it was controlling me and I was wrapped around it's finger hanging on for dear life. For years it consumed me until I could no longer take it and I shouted to the three Fates, "Enough!" They heard me...

It wasn't until I took off the cape, that I finally realized that I could let go. It came though at a great cost to myself. The road that I was on had so many turns, curves and potholes, I wasn't sure I could go any further. The weight I had been carrying was getting heavier and I felt I could barely breathe anymore. I wasn't sleeping and my diet and exercise program...well, let's just say that didn't exist anymore. I was so busy taking care of everyone else, that I forgot the most important person to take care of...me.

With the cape gone, I knew that there was only one more thing left to do, and that was take the final leap. It was going to be hard and painful, but I was already suffering, so I figured why not add a bit more. "Take the leap!", the Three Fates shouted to me. So I did. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but what the heck! When I finally landed, I hit the ground hard and felt the air rush out of my lungs. I knew I was alive, but I was battered and bruised, and bared a severe case of road rash. It was not pretty, but I was alive, and despite everything, I was breathing. And oh the pain...the pain...the pain. How could I possibly be alive? I sent out a lifeline to everyone, family and friend, who would listen. My husband, my parents, my true friends...they all listened and they all helped.

At that moment, the heavy burden that I had been carrying all these years seemed so far away. As I tried to catch my breath, all I could do was just lay there. I stayed that way, for a long time. The Fates knew that this was the beginning of a new era. "Take care of you," they said to me. So that's what I did. I was somewhat afraid that I had forgotten how to take care of myself. Would I be able to do it? The only way to find out was to try. It has taken six months, but I finally feel like I am on the road again.

It hasn't been easy. The way to true inner peace is never I have found. There will always be setbacks, but it's a bit like falling off a bike. You just get up and get right back on that bike and keep going. The good news is that I don't feel so weighed down anymore and my vision is clearer so that I can stay on the right path. I think that the road will always have the s-curves and potholes, but I am stronger now to navigate them.

By "letting go", I was finally able to see that what I had been doing was causing me more harm than good. "Letting go" gave me the freedom to finally see where I really wanted to go. "Letting go" gave me back my life. "Letting go" allowed me to find the one thing that had been lost for a very long time...me.

From Signature

Removing The Cape

I used to sit at my desk and work all day long without ever taking a break, save for a quick trip to the loo. I wore the "hero's cape" to do and fix everything. While I did this, it just seemed that the harder I worked, the farther away I was getting from where I really wanted to be. And ultimately, where did it get me...nowhere. I lost my perspective, I lost my identity, and I forgot who I really was because I let the work identify me. I wore the "cape" every day because I thought it would get me somewhere.

I didn't gain any extra insight, advancement or anything. I let the work enslaved me to what I thought was something very important. But the thing that should have been important was me. Why did I believe that wearing the "cape" would get me to where I wanted? Maybe because I had qualities that others needed and if they used them I would feel important, thereby making me feel good.

Wearing the "cape" to be the hero and letting my work and the promises of better things for myself (the "carrots") kept me from moving forward as a person. I let someone else control me by dangling these carrots in front of me thinking that they were my destiny thereby losing my identity. I was actually hiding behind the "cape". I was actually causing more harm to myself than good.

I lost the essence of who I was until circumstances beyond my control started to change things. While I angry at the time, I think it was the three "Fates" telling me that it was time to remove the "cape". Slowly I began to find me again. I started to write and read and go back to doing the things that were important to me. I was listening again and becoming in-tune again.

But it wasn't easy. The "Fates" finally had to step in and give me a shove. And it was painful...more painful than my surgery, and I thought that was painful, but this was much, much worse. I had to realize that I didn't do anything wrong, but it woke me up to reality and gave me back my perspective so that I could think clearly. I know who I am and I know what I want. I know that I am good at what I do. I wouldn't be doing it for a living if I wasn't. But it is not all that I am and it took losing myself and just about everything else to figure it out.

Now I move forward to the next adventure with a clearer focus. Better prepared to do a fantastic job no matter where I land! I'll be taking with me everything that I have learned from the past, but removing the "cape". I don't need it anymore. I just need to be me.

From Signature

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to my Dad!

I am a long ways from home, but I did speak with my dad this morning. He's been taking care of my mom since she was diagnosed with spinal stenosis. It hasn't been easy but he is hanging in there.

My dad is my hero and I admire him so. He put me thru school, he supported me when I needed it (and didn't ask), and he's listen and helped me when I was scared and afraid. He's always been there for me, my brother and for my mom. I may not be there with him today, but I love him so much! Thanks Dad for being my dad and for choosing me to be your daughter.

Please take a moment to pray for my dad and all the dad's out there, near and far, those dads (and moms!) protecting us in the middle east and other areas around the globe. They need your prayers right now and every day of every week of every month of every year.

Thanks so much!

From Signature

Health & Wellness

Awhile back I mentioned that I wanted to start a project called "New Month, New You". Well, I have been mulling it over in my mind for months trying to figure out exactly how I wanted to approach this delicate topic.

Should I post pictures of myself as I embark upon this journey (and risk exposing myself to the whole world) and risk failing everything?

Should I post videos of myself offer tips and tricks on what I have learned on this topic?

Should I blog about what is working and what isn't?

How about all of the above?

I am almost there in finalizing the details of this project. So thank you for your patience and hang in there with me. The details will be rolled out soon!

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From Signature

Exciting Changes Happening Soon

Hello Friends!

As I ponder my future, I have decided to take the lemons in my life and make some fantastic tasting lemonade!

I have lots of things planned in the upcoming months for Today's Working Woman, including a possible name change and other expanded features. Lots of work to do, but I am very excited to see where this new opportunity takes me.

So...look for new and exciting changes to happen soon.

From Signature

Book Signings and Commitments

Today's Working Woman is so excited as she went to a book signing of a long-time favorite author of hers...Jennifer Chiaverini. She's the writer of the Elm Creek Quilt series and from my home state of Wisconsin.

Jennifer is a warm, sincere and approachable for a writer. She writes about what she loves and is passionate about the subject. As a mom who two children, I don't know how she has found the time to write 17 books.

After listening to her talk about her career and reading an excerpt from her new book being released in November, I am more excited now than ever to take my career to a whole new and different level.

I've been writing other people's documents for years and now I want to forge ahead with my own personal writing career. Additionally, I want to read and review books as well as continue with my two blogs...Today's Working Woman and Recipes for Today's Working Woman.

My blogs are probably going to expand quite a bit and I hope to be able to share lots of new and exciting features moving forward. So I hope everyone can hang in there with me as I begin "construction" on several areas of both sites.

I am commited now, more than ever, to take this opportunity as far as I can and I hope that you will come along with me on this adventure!

Please be sure to check out my Book Club page. I've made quite a few updates there. Look for future updates coming on several more pages as well as to my Recipes for Today's Working Woman page. My husband has had quite a few great ideas that he began to share with me this weekend.

P.S. I'll post some pictures from the book signing soon!

From Signature