I was trying to think about a significant moment in my life that I wanted to share with everyone. The one thing that came to mind was my wedding weekend.
You see, I was literally moving the day after my wedding. We had such a short time to enjoy ourselves because we were moving to Arizona. My husband-to-be had already moved that past January. I was still paying the bill! I had packed up my apartment and my family had come over on Friday to help me load it up into the U-haul that my dad had rented for me.
My parents were really awesome when it finally got down to that moment. The months leading up to it however, were not so great. They weren't happy that I was moving away...but that's a story for another moment. I will say that while we were loading up, they kept a stiff upper lip! Dad especially because he was forking over a lot of money to make this wedding/move happen. Not only did he pay for the wedding, he had to buy me a new car because I had an accident a few months earlier and I totaled my car. I didn't have the money to pay for one so he just did. We affectionately called it "The Blue Bomb" because it turned out to be a lemon, just like the car I totaled! It must have been that model of car...:-(
The wedding, reception, gift opening, and another dinner for the family was held all on one day. By the time we got to the hotel that night, we were exhausted and knew that we had to get up early to meet my parents for breakfast and get over to my brothers to load up my car on the trailer behind the U-haul and get the last minute things loaded up in the truck. We face planted ourselves on a rock hard bed and fell asleep for a few hours.
The next day after a very somber breakfast, we got to my brothers, did what we had to do and then my dad, for some unknown reasons decided that he wanted to drive the U-haul part way and then pass it off to Edward and I at a cut-off point to be determined. I guess he thought Edward was going to have problems driving and pulling a trailer with my car on the back or something. My mom and I drove behind in their car. I think my mom wanted one last ditch effort to talk me out of doing this. She spent the entire drive to the turnoff point saying things to make me feel bad. I wondered what my dad was saying to my new husband.
It was a really crappy thing to do and I'll never forget it. This time should have been one of the happiest moments of my life and instead I felt like one of the biggest shits for "leaving them behind" as it was put to me. It wasn't the first time that a child has ever moved away from their family. I didn't see what the big freakin' deal was, but it was a big deal to them and they never forgave me for it. They made me feel guilty every day for years.
When that time came for the "great pass off", I remember distinctly
waving goodbye from the passenger seat in the U-haul as my parents took
the turn off and we kept going. My life at that very moment changed
forever. It was at that moment...I started to weep...for everything that
I had left behind...friends, family, and a live that would never be the
same again. It took a long while to stop crying, but I did because I
had a long road to navigate.
Every Sunday afterwards when I talked to my mom, she always asked the same question, "When are you moving home?" I heard that same question from her for years...literally. She asked me because she wanted to hurt me. Those phone calls were a weekly reminder of how much I was making a mistake. I can't tell you how many conversations I had with my parents on this subject. I finally got so fed up, I asked them if they wanted me to divorce my husband and move home. They never answered me directly, but I knew that they did. I found out later from my sister-in-law that they never wanted me to get married...at all. My mom admitted to her that she was doing it on purpose to hurt me. They actually wanted me under their thumb, staying a spinster for the rest of my life to take care of them in their old age. I was astonished and saddened.
My husband and I have been married for 20 years, and together for 25 years. That's over half my life. We made it...survived all the negativity. I am really proud for sticking to my guns and not giving up because I could have succumbed to the pressure from all those naysayers that thought we wouldn't make it. By the way, this glass of champagne is for you! Didn't you get a divorce? Hmmm...funny, I'm still married and happy!
Wishing you moments of tremendous happiness!
This blog was written as a part of BlogFest 2012. Check out
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Liked anything you see here? Then contact me,
Susan Dusterhoft at todaysworkingwoman@hotmail.com. I am always looking
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