Never Put the Key to Happiness In Someone Else's Pocket

As a follow-up to last weekend's post "No Matter What You Decide to Do in Life, Be Sure it Makes You Happy", tell me if you ever said this (or a reasonable facsimile thereof)..."If I could just do this for (fill in how long here), maybe everything will turn out okay for me and then I can (fill in what you really want to do here). If I had a dollar for every time I did said that to myself, I'd be rich by now.

I've spent the better part of my life making sure that other people's dreams came true. Or at the very least made their lives easier. What I forgot along the way is that I should never have put the key to my own happiness in someone else's pocket. This is a very powerful and life affirming statement. What does it mean then?

Well for me, it simply means that the key to my own personal happiness lies within me and not with others. Furthermore, I can't spend the rest of my life making sure others are happy if I am not. I need to own the key so that I can unlock the door to my happiness and ensure that it stays open forever. If I don't then I am going to end up being just like Cinderella, the Scullery Maid (you know...before she met Prince Charming.)  I would venture to say the same thing could happen to anybody if they didn't take ownership of their own personal key to happiness.

I love what I do for a living. Don't get me wrong. I know where my strengths are and that is being in a support roll; helping others shine. But sometimes I get so caught up that I forget about me. I put everything that I have into whatever I am doing, and before I know it another month is gone, another summer is over and another year has ended without doing the things that make me truly happy. It is my own fault. I left my key in someone else's pocket again.

Taking control of your own happiness is a huge undertaking. How many of you have thought about, much less do anything about it? We're so caught up in running the race that we don't know how to get off the juggernaut we created. Before you know it, twenty something years will pass and you'll be sitting here like I am wondering what happened. But no more...it is time to put yourself first and unleash possibilities! I have learned to take ownership of my life, thanks to the support of my husband, family and a few other people who have become a very important part of my life. 

If you're like me, take the key back, open the door and let your happiness shine!

 

Like anything you see here? Then contact me, Susan Dusterhoft at todayswritingwoman@hotmail.com and let me know how I can help you.

Addictions

For some people, serious addictions can cause one's life to go spinning out of control. When all you can think about is that one "thing" (or maybe it's more than one), and it keeps you from sleeping, eating, having relationships, spending time with family or friends, and yes...do I dare say this...work, then you truly know you have been completely consumed by an uncontrollable urge that requires more than just letting go. Unfortunately, at this point, about the only thing that can save you is checking yourself into rehab for some serious treatment.

But what about those inclinations that are not life threatening. Those little fixations that keep us going on the journey of life, feed our souls, bring us peace and help us breathe when the weight of the world is pressing down on you. Are these things really all that serious to make you concerned? Do they cause our lives to spin out of control? Or are they really just a little something, something that make it easier to get through the day? 

What would happen if you could no longer have those fixes? Would you be able to get through the day? Would your life be less whole? Would you wake up one morning and realize you were a shadow of your former self? Would you recognize the person in the mirror staring back at you? 

Perhaps these cravings are not really addictions after all. Maybe, they are the lifeblood that keeps you alive. And when they go missing, you lose yourself. You turn into something unrecognizable. But deep down you know your true identity is still lurking...waiting for the day when you wake up and tell yourself that you can't do this any more.

When your life has been consumed by something that leads you down the path of destruction, then seek help. But when your soul has been stripped of the essence that makes you whole, and you know that those "addictions" are going to be what it takes to fix it, then stop the ride. Take some time to step back and think about when life was really sweet. And when you find what it is that you lost, grab onto them tightly because these are what you need in order to put the pieces of your life back together. Bring them back slowly...deliberately...using great care. This is the time to heal. Nothing of greatness ever comes when it is rushed. Life is too precious to ramrod the process through quickly. Savor it.

Remember, there are a few "addictions" that are not really bad. Some, in fact, are truly wonderful. You just need to remind yourself that there was a reason why they became a part of you to begin with; and now that you know, you'll never let them go again.

I know what my "addictions are", do you?

 

Like anything you see here? Then contact me, Susan Dusterhoft at todayswritingwoman@hotmail.com. I am always looking for more books/products to review. I can also provide assistance with blog writing!

GBE 2: Gusto

Let it never be said that when I set out to do something, I do it half way. I am, by my own admission, an overachiever. I like to do things with gusto; give it my all, and as my husband says "go overboard" every chance I get. My motto for most of my life has been "go all the way or don't go at all."

I've spent the better part of my adult years working hard for everybody, but myself. Consistently putting everyone else first; even to the point of putting my health at risk by going to work sick and forgetting to keep my annual checkups. Seriously! What was wrong with that? The answer...everything.

That was the old me. Today, I have re-evaluated my life and put things into perspective. I've figured out what I am good at (writing) and have cultivated a little following which I hope to expand in the coming months. Now, don't get too worried! I know my limits. I still work a full time job, but someday...

Yes, someday I hope to stay at home and be a full-time writer. I have lots of great ideas for how I am going to revamp things and I have been slowly working towards making those changes. Now don't worry! I have had a fair amount of time to think about what I have accomplished in the last several years of keeping this site going, plus all the other things that I have been involved in. In terms of my writing, I know what I love to do, so I am going to continue doing that. I've also decided it isn't a good idea to put all my eggs in one basket, so I am going back to diversification...just not a 100 different things! Maybe 50...well...maybe 10...if I get lucky!

I am sure you're wondering by now that this just sounds like the same old me. Actually, it really isn't. I'm just doing things smarter, not harder. There's nothing wrong with doing things with a little "gusto"; just pick maybe one or two of them instead of all of them.

When I started this site, I wanted it to be about me sharing my thoughts about life. I wanted to share my triumphs and my failures. I still want to do all of that...just a little bit more and perhaps better. I have been gone awhile, fluttering in and out like a butterfly when the muse strikes me. I've spent the last several months learning about a few things and figuring out how I want to take this to the next level. I think I am there now and hope that you will all come along with me on this new leg of my adventure.

Because, I am Today's Working Woman and I am living, learning and writing all about it...with GUSTO!

 


***I have written this piece for a group on Facebook that I joined, GBE 2: Blog On. This is week #92 and the topic is Gusto. Interested in more...click on the picture below to take you there.

Like anything you see here? Then contact me, Susan Dusterhoft at todaysworkingwoman@hotmail.com. I am always looking for more books/products to review. I can also provide assistance with blog writing!

Re-focusing Brings Clarity In Life

Does it feel like life is passing you by? Does every day fly by that before you know it the week is over? Is the month over before it even started for you? Are things not going the way you wanted or hoped it would be? If you've answered yes to these questions, then you need to stop, pay attention and listen.

IT'S TIME TO REFOCUS!

Staying focused in life is as important as sleeping, eating and breathing. You need all of these things to stay alive. But when everything blurs together, life begins to spiral out of control. Nothing became more clearer to me than this when I recently started my new job.

For years, I have seen and watched thousands of people pass me by, in a hurry to get somewhere. It seemed like everyone that I watched was constantly in the "Hurry up, I need to get somewhere" mode (e.g. trucks driving faster than the posted speed limits on the highway, people rushing up and down the aisles in the grocery store, cars whizzing around the corners and not paying attention to the pedestrians in the walkway). Hold up...what's the hurry? Exactly...

We're all moving so fast...
              
                                           Where's the fire?

Ok...deep breath in...and deep breath out.

Now, I asked myself a question...am I just passing through life and not taking the time to see and experience it?
 
My answer seemed pretty clear, or so I thought. I've spent the better part of my life working, working and working. My life totally revolved around work. Sure, I took vacations, spent time with my husband, friends and family, but I fear that I missed out on so much more because for many years I've constantly been working, thinking about work and bringing work home with me. Was it because of my mid-west work ethic that I did this? Or, was it because of the various role models in my life and watching how hard they worked that I did this? I don't know.

What I do know is that I have had a difficult time separating my work life from my personal life. I like to work and I take pride in my work. But my work is not all that I am...because I remember when I was younger and what I loved to do before I worked. I had so many other things that I did that were important to me, and really defined who I am today. But how do I go back to that place? I have my subconscious to thank for getting me there.

What's been going on for the last year and maybe for much much longer, is that I have been unintentionally preparing for a major life shift. I've felt it coming. Why? Because I listened and paid attention. I had hoped and prayed for it to not happen because I thought I was comfortable. The reality is that I wasn't because for the last year or more, I had been slowly, quietly, methodically and without much thought, refocusing so as to breathe new life into my life.

My life has become much clearer today, and I have not only my previous jobs to thank for that, but I also have my new job to thank as well. I love what I do now. Despite everything being fresh and new and having to learn so much, the techniques and lessons that I learned from my old jobs will help me to learn my new job more easily; thereby allowing me to get back to the other things that I love to do.

I am more than just my work, and I know that now. I feel more focused because I re-focused.

So what's the lesson in all of this? It's simple.When things don't seem to be going the way they should be, and life is just passing you by, then you know what to do. Stop, take a deep breath, and refocus because there is a lot at stake...namely, your life.