BFF# 138 Masks

I walk these halls with hundreds of others,

but no one ever sees me, just through me.

It’s like I don’t exist.

Until somebody bumps into me,

and all my books fall to the floor.

No one helps me.

They just walk over me.

I sit alone at lunch every day,

eating quietly and trying not to be seen.

I see everyone.

The jocks, the cheerleaders, the geeks,

the nerds, the musicians, and the cool guys.

Where do I fit in? 

Even the outcasts don't want me.

I ride the bus home most afternoons.

It’s a long ride home.

I sit by myself; no one sits with me.

I know they are talking. 

I see everyone stare and whisper.

My stop is finally here and I leave quickly.

But now they shout their hatred out the window.

I am mortified.

I wear a mask to hide my anguish.

I tell my mother there is nothing wrong.

But I lie. I lie to her every day.

I don’t want her see my suffering.

But she sees me. She hears them.

I can’t hide.

I wear the mask.

A mask to hide every pain.

I have one for every occasion.

I’ve been wearing them for a long time.

I don’t know how to live without them.

Who am I?

Where is the real me?

I left my home.

Over two thousand miles I fled.

I needed to see if I could start a new life.

One free from the past and the pain.

But the masks followed me here.

I had to wear them for many years,

and be someone else that others wanted me to be.

I have done everything you’ve asked.

I thought you needed me.

I wore the mask you wanted me to wear.

It wasn’t good enough.

The music died and the dancing faded away.

You took everything from me.

Now I'm left wondering who I am.

It took a long time to see

that the masks I wore

were a waste of time.

I thought they would protect me.

But all they did was hide who I was,

and kept me from living

a life meant to be.

Now I live mask-free.

What you see, is what you get.

I have nothing to hide.

Not anymore.

People want to see me,

and appreciate what I have to offer.

I wonder what they would think of me now?

I don’t care anymore.

It’s their loss.

The music is finally playing,

and the dancing has returned.

I am happy and free,

and finally ready to throw out

the masks that have hid me.

***I have written this piece for a group on Facebook that I have joined, BFF Blogging For Fun. Interested in more...click on the picture below to take you there. Don't forget to check out my friends at One Stop Blog World, a collective of all the great blog sites of which I am a member!