Friday, November 4, 2011

BFF# 138 Masks

I walk these halls with hundreds of others,
but no one ever sees me, just through me.
It’s like I don’t exist.
Until somebody bumps into me,
and all my books fall to the floor.
No one helps me.
They just walk over me.

I sit alone at lunch every day,
eating quietly and trying not to be seen.
I see everyone.
The jocks, the cheerleaders, the geeks,
the nerds, the musicians, and the cool guys.
Where do I fit in? 
Even the outcasts don't want me.

I ride the bus home most afternoons.
It’s a long ride home.
I sit by myself; no one sits with me.
I know they are talking. 
I see everyone stare and whisper.
My stop is finally here and I leave quickly.
But now they shout their hatred out the window.

I am mortified.
I wear a mask to hide my anguish.
I tell my mother there is nothing wrong.
But I lie. I lie to her every day.
I don’t want her see my suffering.
But she sees me. She hears them.
I can’t hide.

I wear the mask.
A mask to hide every pain.
I have one for every occasion.
I’ve been wearing them for a long time.
I don’t know how to live without them.
Who am I?
Where is the real me?

I left my home.
Over two thousand miles I fled.
I needed to see if I could start a new life.
One free from the past and the pain.
But the masks followed me here.
I had to wear them for many years,
and be someone else that others wanted me to be.

I have done everything you’ve asked.
I thought you needed me.
I wore the mask you wanted me to wear.
It wasn’t good enough.
The music died and the dancing faded away.
You took everything from me.
Now I'm left wondering who I am.

It took a long time to see
that the masks I wore
were a waste of time.
I thought they would protect me.
But all they did was hide who I was,
and kept me from living
a life meant to be.

Now I live mask-free.
What you see, is what you get.
I have nothing to hide.
Not anymore.
People want to see me,
and appreciate what I have to offer.
I wonder what they would think of me now?

I don’t care anymore.
It’s their loss.
The music is finally playing,
and the dancing has returned.
I am happy and free,
and finally ready to throw out
the masks that have hid me.

Susan's Blog Signature

***I have written this piece for a group on Facebook that I have joined, BFF Blogging For Fun. Interested in on the picture below to take you there. Don't forget to check out my friends at One Stop Blog World, a collective of all the great blog sites of which I am a member!


  1. I like the mask free Susan! A lot! Dancing is free is a great thing. This is an awesome poem. Great job.

  2. This was beautifully written Susan. It was so sad throughout, but I was thrilled with the happy ending where the mask was finally discarded. Brilliant!!


  3. Jo, Elizabeth and Kathy...thank you for your kind words. It's not my best work as poems go. I'm not much of a poet at all actually. But the words have weighed heavily on my mind for a very long time and finally needed to be said. I am happy now and dancing again! The masks are finally gone...the writing has helped make that happen. I just love my writing friends!

  4. Wow! So much emotion in one piece. Excellent! I'm glad you are free.